I Want Ishmael; The Silent Cry of a Christian
Executive
As a local country director of a global think tank, I would
like to have control over almost everything that concerns me, from boardroom to
bedroom. I don’t want to dive in unknown affairs of finance, strategy,
investments, human resources, relationships, etc. I like it when I am confident
of everything about now and tomorrow, and when I can predict the future of
everything from inflations, elections, erections or did I say so? Erecting
office partitions, staff housing, etc., literally, everything.
The problem is, I am an impatient person. I don’t like
waiting. I get annoyed by slow drivers in fast lanes on the road. I audibly
sigh when I get into a long queue at the bank. I am quick to remind waiters in
restaurants that the ten minutes they promised for my meal are over. I
occasionally threaten Rose, my wife that I will skip breakfast if all is not
set in the next five minutes. This pressing attitude sometimes work, but oft
time its like honking to a deaf person.
The year before last, I was sold to long waits. After
waiting for eleven months to take up a new appointment despite having the offer
at my hand, I developed resilience and believed that eventually I had matured
out to display the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which is patience. I developed a
series of mini sermons and lectures titled ‘Delays are Devine, How God Works Through Delays’. At that moment,
almost everything was at stand still from family projects, job prospects,
promises, name them all. I was victorious in the difficult game of waiting.
But habits die hard, and that’s why we need to be renewed
every time, as Apostle Paul advises; You were taught, with regard to your
former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its
deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on
the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness[i].
Slowly something happened. The ‘now-man’ in resurrected. I started wanting
things now, and on my way! I wanted a new house now, a new phone now, a new
suit now, a new car – now; a new benefit schedule, and answers to everything I
pray for -now! “Could it be that what we are waiting for is more important to
us than God?” asks Vaneetha Rendall Risner in her article ‘When We Want to Give
Up Waiting[ii]’.
May be its just God who is telling us to wait a little
longer, after all, its God’s habit to wait. He waited for six days to create a
human being in his own image. He made Noah stay on the ark for roughly 370
days. He made Abraham wait for the birth of his son Isaac for 25 years; and he
made disciples wait for the promise of the Holy Spirit for 50 days. God want us
to wait for his appointed time for both trivial situations as well as for the bigger,
much more important issues. Whether for a short or long period, waiting is
still hard.
Just imagine, how many people have waited an agonizingly
long time for healing from tormenting health situations, painful broken
relationships, unpaid debts, for a dear friend to return to faith, etc. Can you
imagine what you thought would materialise in a short time turning into months,
which turns into years, which turns into decades? Do you turn your heart away
from God, who seemingly never delivered what you’re waiting for?
What is your Ishmael? What are you tired of waiting for and
tempted to take into your own hands? What are you afraid to let go of because
it seems that something is better than nothing? What are you trusting God for?
Do you want Ishmael delivered now for Isaac who does not
seem to be coming forth? Ishmael is a result of a young, logical, tender
looking mother (strategy) which gives you control on when he is born, how he is
born, and how he will grow to inherit your estate. It’s tempting to look for
Ishmael, to provide for ourselves, to meet our desires our own way. It may feel
like we’re simply finding another means to an end, but God is in both the means
and the end. Isaac on the contrary, is long awaited from an old, resilient
mother (strategy), which in human eyes, cannot give birth.
Huduma Choir at the City Christian Centre Upanga in Dar es
Salaam have a song that says “Mungu
hawezi kukunyima kitu chema, wala hawezi kukupa kityu kibaya,” meaning God
will not deprive you of anything good, nor will He give you anything bad. So
the reason you’re waiting longer may be just that God is doesn’t want to give
you something bad! Waiting is not just an empty space between our prayers and
their fulfilment. No, in our waiting, God does his deepest work. God is
sanctifying us and teaching us to trust him. Sometimes we get what we are
waiting for, and we rejoice and are grateful. Other times, we never see that fulfilment
on earth, and we are drawn closer to God as we continue to seek him.
God has not forgotten us. It’s not that our requests are
unimportant. He will answer them in his own time (which is also always the best
time for us). He sees what we cannot see; he knows the potential dangers and
snares he is protecting us from. While we’re waiting, God is with us. He aches
with us, cries with us, comforts us. He meets us in our pain and uses all our
struggles for our good. One day, we will thank him for everything that he gave
us, and denied us, on this earth. Says Vaneetha Rendall Risner.
This month, pass on the humanly impossible to God. Wait
authentically, even when it’s taking too long. Don’t shortcut what God has for
you. Don’t give in to disillusionment. Don’t settle for Ishmael when God has
Isaac for you. Isaac is the son of laughter and promise, the fulfilment of all
God had said. Isaac is worth waiting for. Don’t settle for what is humanly
possible; wait for what only God can do. “One day, we will thank him for
everything that he gave us, and denied us, on this earth.”
Charles Sokile is a Country Director for Oxford Policy
Management in Tanzania. He writes books, articles and blogs during his spare
time. Views expressed in this article are solely his personal and has nothing
to do with any organisation he is affiliated to.
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